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  • The Vast of Night

    The Vast of Night


    Got a few glowing recommendations on this from some film friends, so I decided to give it a shot. While I appreciated what was being attempted here, I feel like at this point in our film history, you need to come up with a little more that what was provided in this film.

    I liked the slow development of the story, I loved the camerawork which had long and extensive takes contrasting with quick fast edit takes, depending on the…

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I apologize in advance, and I'm gonna waste a shitload of time writing this, but I'm gonna Lt.-Daniel-Kaffee this shit.

    Ready? Here I go:

    The entire goal that our rebels have to achieve in order to win is to stop and/or destroy the Emperor's brand new, power-upped fleet of planet killing Star Destroyers.

    However, these Star Destroyers cannot leave the planet yet, because even though they are armed with hundreds of thousands of crew, they need to be managed by…

  • The Lovebirds

    The Lovebirds


    The Lovebirds is your common romantic comedy/murder mystery, powered through by the likability and comedic timing of Rae and Nanjiani.

    This would have been a perfect AMC A-List watch. I miss the movie theater.

  • The Wrong Missy

    The Wrong Missy


    As this was a Sandler-produced film, it can be graded on my Adam Sandler scale, which is ONE, being Jack & Jill, and TEN, being Uncut Gems.

    This film lands squarely as a LITTLE NICKY.

  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse


    I love Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. There is so much perfection in this perfect film. Here are a few of the best examples:

    • Taking a character who has been singular in at least six (at the time) films and bringing to life the phrase "Anyone can wear the mask."

    • The animated concept of the Spider-Verse's effect on the reality of Miles' universe

    • Kingpin finally represented as the literal larger-than-life character he is

    • The family dynamic of…

  • The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman


    As musical productions go, this one is perfect.

  • Highlander: The Final Dimension

    Highlander: The Final Dimension


    I will never forget my brother's perfect review of this film, greeting me on a fine morning back in '96 as a voicemail on my work phone:

    "Highlander Three... The Final Dimension... was a piece of shit."

  • Fire (Pożar)

    Fire (Pożar)


    Would living inside David Lynch's brain be a heaven or a hell?

  • The Hustle

    The Hustle


    It's like this story was put through the Brundle Telepod, and in this trip it became a facsimile of its former, better self.

  • Dangerous Lies

    Dangerous Lies


    Fun at the start, but devolves as the mystery is revealed.

  • Den of Thieves

    Den of Thieves


    Why do we root for the bad guys to succeed sometimes? How can a film present criminals pulling a heist, and yet it always seems that, for a moment, we hope for their success?

    Den of Thieves plays out like the grungier version of HEAT. Both of the groups of players are here, however the film plays them both as bad/good, and for every terrible or law-breaking thing our "bad" guys pull, there's a similar act done by our "heroes".…

  • Wrinkles the Clown

    Wrinkles the Clown


    A one hour, 18 minute film with about 30 minutes of that focused on our main subject. The rest of the film presents us a bunch of annoying little shits talking about Wrinkles.

    Enjoyable enough, when you're not distressing about the children of our country and their dumb-ass parents.