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  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast


    Feels like one of those alternate versions of a film that's been shelved, yet gradually gains cult following not long after the eager superfans discover it smacked between deleted scenes and trailers on the special features of its home media release.

    If you want to make furnitures look cute, they better have those wide diddly eyes.

  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant


    I'm sad to report that, no, Jay Baruchel is not in this film. Per usual, it feels so good to finally be back in the embrace of a visionary who knows his shit. It only took Ridley's toying around with corn syrup (both digital and otherwise), his innocent pontificating, Michael Fassbender's justified objectification of himself and visceral sound design to jolt me out of my deep, bloodless superhero blockbuster-induced slumber. Also, my man Danny McBride is now a legit actor. Bravo. All in all magnificent, but still no Prometheus in my book.

Popular reviews

  • Warcraft


    I walked out of the matinee after one hour and a half of being pummelled by this unholy nonsense. What a sluggishly paced and narratively confused fella this film was. It was kind of great to actually see the games' aesthetics get the most faithful screen adaptation, but that's just it. Everything else was a completely unengaging mess. I saw potential here - a sprawling fantasy universe that could be fun to explore. But all of that was squandered in…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road


    Okay, so it's out and it's nice.

    Wait, well, it's more than nice. It's good! Yeah? Let's settle for 'good' so as to not make these hungry dogs even hungrier. From now on, I'll be using the adjective as a euphemism for the M-word.


    George Miller. Now I've never met the man, let alone talking to him, but judging from Mad Max: Fury Road, I'm willing to bet my ass that he's a super kind guy. How…