Midsommar ★★★★½

i've fallen further and further behind the curve over the last, oh... 4 years or so? i've always been a little behind the curve, honestly. i mean, aside from things i lucked into seeing earlier in life (thanks to a dad who showed me the Alien films, and verhoeven and cameron stuff--primarily because he had a penchant for action sci-fi w/ impressive vfx, while i grew to feel like i understood the things he showed me better than he ever did...)

i'm 39 now, and i've not grown up in a lot of ways.

Midsommar seems, to me, to be a movie about the people in your life all living their own lives, with their own ambitions and emotions (or lack thereof), all numb to the grief and shame and pain you feel gripped by. about maybe, in defiance of all sense and reason, in defiance of even your own understanding of things, finding a place among a people who mirror your own emotions while remaining completely alone in a maelstrom of strictly defined movements and manipulations.

i've never seen a film that so vividly and accurately matches the visual effects of tripping.

recently i had a big fight with my mom over something and while i take issue with her way of communicating and responding i know it all comes down to me, and me continuing to fail myself.

that's all i've got. i want to write more and start watching more movies again.

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