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  • The Fall of the Roman Empire

    The Fall of the Roman Empire

    ★★★★

    A sumptuous, sprawling epic with some movie leges. Don't make em like this any more.

  • The War Zone

    The War Zone

    ★★

    Saw Timbo filming in my neighbourhood recently, seemed such a nice chap. What filth lies twixt heavenly ears? To take as a subject, a father taking his teenage daughter up the back passage, takes some kind of depravity. This can't actually go on.
    Verdict: it's Xmas you dirtbag!

  • Men Against the Sun

    Men Against the Sun

    The story of the construction of this railway across Africa is truly epic - although you don't get that impression with this tepid affair. Another brilliant bit of British colonial construction reduced to an afterthought.

  • Beyond

    Beyond

    ★★

    Och aye the noo. Is it a bird, plane or asteroid? Fk knows wee Manny.

  • Cold Pursuit

    Cold Pursuit

    ★½

    The director's original Norwegian thriller was gritty drama which made you empathise with the revengeful father. This has been turned into Hollywood hocum a la Neeson.
    Verdict: Hunt out In Order of Disappearance instead.

  • The Fifth Estate

    The Fifth Estate

    ★½

    The good: Benny Cumberbotty I thought did a great job of representing the flawed loon/genius that is Julius of Assange.
    The bad: The rest. Especially dismissing the monumental efforts of Chelsea Manning in a single line wtf?
    Verdict: Don't go to Ecuador for your holidays.

  • Arctic

    Arctic

    ★★★

    Brrr, baby it's cold out there. A snappy happy little number set in a frozen landscape. Now I know Netflix want to introduce FF but a movie that just cuts off. What no happy ending? Same feel good factor as The Grey!
    Verdict: Bound to be a hit with Frosty the Snowman.

  • Under the Skin

    Under the Skin

    ★★★★

    A surreal excursion into the imagination. One of those movies that can't simply be explained but has to be experienced and absorbed by the individual observer.

  • Ad Astra

    Ad Astra

    ★★

    If you are going to make cerebral sci-fi at least make it engaging. Even though Brad's trip to Mars passed in the blink of an eye this movie didn't. Now I am a big fan of the thinking fan's sci-fi but found this hugely disappointing, full of pseudo-reflective posturing and stony faced monologues. That the trip to the far reaches of the solar system was a metaphor for the lost father-son relationship still failed to enable it to rise above the mundane.
    Verdict: We don't have lift off.

  • Mysterious Island

    Mysterious Island

    Very tepid indeed. Oh for wotsisname as Nemo - James Mason? Oh and Horror Channel why o why do you leave off the castlist at the end? Numpties. The recent BBC radio adaption was far superior.

  • Strangers on a Train

    Strangers on a Train

    ★★★½

    Rather under-rated Hitchcock thriller.
    Verdict: Volley good show

  • Lost Horizon

    Lost Horizon

    ★★★

    When first few frames unfurled I had that strange sensation of deja vu. I knew I had seen it before but more than that, I was briefly transported back in time to the smoky interior of the ABC cinema in Hartlepool.
    I wasn't old enough to sniff a barmaid's apron but the memories came flooding back; except one; I had forgotten it was a quasi musical. The first number was the magical 'The world is a circle without a beginning'....…