Ghost in the Shell

Ghost in the Shell ★★★★★

we cling onto memories as if they define us
it's what we do that defines us

im hyperventilating. you guys rly dont understand i'm crying rn in the alley behind the theatre cause my arms wont stop trembling. 

how can i resume regular life after experiences like this? cinema is the only place im alive in. i've never felt feelings as pure and life-affirming in real life. i really would not exist without this, this that penetratea inside my bones and my nerves like my tissues ripping open as my body holds me back from being sucked into the screen, into the world i really belong in. like when major jumps on the tank with zero hesitation and hammers down on the hatch, even as her tissue is literally tearing open from the pressure. i could barely hold the noises i was making inside, inside me.

so as you can tell i was built really close to the water for this rewatch, a waterfall flowing behind my eyes like juliet binoche, wheter the water is artificial or real i know that these feelins are real. major jumps to the rescue of her friends with not a second of hesitation, it's what she was programmed to do sure, but the emotion in her face and panic upon realization her loved ones might be in danger. i just cant handle this. this is the most beautiful thing in the world and we are alive to witness it.

theres a moment at the end where major hugs someone, and as they put their arms around her she literally jolts. it's like she turned human at that very moment. for the very first time letting go of her robotic-like tense posture as her head sinks into their shoulders. for the first time knowing what this is all about. 

this is just it. this cinema is all there is and im content with it. it's all i need and all i breathe and i feel deep happiness from deep within me that i get to feel what im feeling rn. the last thing i wanna do is muddy this film by talking about the critical reception so i'll just say this. it's really fucking disheartening how much pleasure people seem to take in bashing art. especially films as rare as this one. i love it with all my heart and i wish i had two to just show major that she deserves to live too, and anyone whose with me on this. 

you're killing me

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