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  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★★

    Robert Eggers managed to make a film more Satanic than his previous, which actually featured a performance by Satan.

  • The Vast of Night

    The Vast of Night

    ★★★★½

    As committed to it’s period look and dialogue as The VVitch was to it’s, Vast of Night has a maniacally fetishistic love of period recorders, radios, and switchboards. Lucky for audiences it also tells a great, spooky story with great restraint and no bloodpacks. 

    More from the Paradox Theater, please.

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  • Doctor Sleep

    Doctor Sleep

    ★★★

    Having a Scot in the lead and not having him say “do ye wanta get sood?" seems like a real missed opportunity.

    If you want to know to what degree this passes the Stephen King loyalty test, there’s a cat named Azzie that identities people who are near death. There's also, of course, a scene of people visiting their memory palaces.

    It probably shouldn't be, but it's interesting how much of an analogue to 2010: The Year We Make Contact…

  • Terminator: Dark Fate

    Terminator: Dark Fate

    ★★

    This thing is like a concussion-riddled NFL player that just refuses to quit way past when they should’ve; it starts off spry and clever but just gets dumber and dumber until it all ends in a pointless roid-rage massacre.

    If you polled me at the 2/3-ish mark I’d probably give it a gentleman’s 3, but by the time  it’s finished bludgeoning you with it’s third climax, you’re just begging to get unceremoniously shotgunned in the face.

    On the upside, re:…

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  • Alita: Battle Angel

    Alita: Battle Angel

    ★★★★

    [IMAX 3D]
    I was really signed up for this. Robert Rodriguez is a central figure in my personal film canon. He's an imperfect director but his earnestness and zeal for genre filmmaking shine through on all of his projects.

    Rodriguez has had a short stint in low security director jail; a series of low budget failures (Rodriguez is the only studio-adjacent guy that is this fast and this cheap) and frankly a couple very disappointing moviee. He keeps promising to…

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    This is the kind of film that makes a million filmmakers.

    Also, horror movie audiences are truly the worst people alive.