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  • Moonlight

    Moonlight

    Lucy

    ★★★★½

    boyhood: who are you?
    moonlight: i'm you but stronger in every possible way

  • Suicide Squad

    Suicide Squad

    Vanessa

    Isabelle Huppert did not come all the way from France to see Suicide Squad win an Oscar.

  • Trainspotting

    Trainspotting

    Steve G

    ★★★★½

    Choose Letterboxd. Choose films. Choose downloading the app. Choose paying money for a membership just so you don’t have to see some fucker adding 500 films to their watchlist. Choose following a few thousand people and then never reading a fucking word they say. Choose writing “Read the full review on my website!” knowing full well no cunt is ever going to follow that link. Choose asking Sally Jane Black to watch Rogue Nation and then seeing her do a…

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    SilentDawn

    ★★★★½

    87

    Setting: Marvel Board Meeting

    Kevin: "And then I said, we already put in 3 end-credits scenes, how about 2 more?!?"

    *eruptive laughter*

    Marvel Exec #2: "You're such a card, Kevin."

    Kevin: "These movies don't make themselves!"

    Marvel Exec #3: "Well I mean they kinda do. That's why we installed that conveyer belt in northern Idaho and everything."

    Kevin: "You got me there!"

    *Meeting Room door opens*

    Kevin: "Well look who it is, our crazy director intern, come in James."…

  • Kong: Skull Island

    Kong: Skull Island

    Katie

    ★★★★

    I relate to king kong because I too would protect brie larson at all costs

  • The Beguiled

    The Beguiled

    davidehrlich

    ★★★★½

    Between “The Virgin Suicides” and “Marie Antoinette,” it was already quite clear that Sofia Coppola loves watching Kirsten Dunst struggle to make peace with some kind of purgatory. In “The Beguiled,” the mustiest and most conventionally entertaining film of Coppola’s brilliant career, Dunst is once again cast as a woman with so much to give and nowhere to go, but this is the first of her characters who actually has a legitimate hope of escaping from her limbo.

    Alas, peace…

  • American Beauty

    American Beauty

    Lucy

    ★★★★★

    imagine going over to ricky's house for a dime bag and he's just sitting there watching a video he recorded of a dead cat in a dumpster or something and he senses your presence and says "i watch this every day at exactly 3:41pm. it reminds me that i'm not alone in the world" and then he starts crying and you're just like "ricky... the weed"

  • Arrival

    Arrival

    adrianbalboa

    ★★★★★

    ah, yes. meryl streep's role as "meryl streep in another mediocre dramady" was much more deserving of an oscar nomination than amy "i carried this movie on my own two shoulders" adams. because florence foster jenkins will be remembered for much longer than arrival. at least she got nominated for nocturnal animals OH WAIT

  • Colossal

    Colossal

    brat pitt

    ★★★½

    there's a scene where anne hathaway goes to an old western section of a bar & says "it's like a fuckin wes anderson movie in here!" 

    do you think that wes will ever see this film? if so, do you think he will be pleasantly surprised to have his name dropped like that? or do you think he'll be like "... um ... no it's not... ?" and uncomfortably fidget in his yellow corduroy suit?
    do you think the filmmakers got…

  • The Wolf of Wall Street

    The Wolf of Wall Street

    Lucy

    ★★★★½

    can you believe that leo won his first oscar for grunting when THIS performance exists

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    sree

    ★★★★★

    me: i should get some sleep i have a lot to do in the morning
    my brain: hey remember when eduardo's shares were diluted down to 0.03%?

  • Okja

    Okja

    davidehrlich

    ★★★★

    like ET on crack. a *wild* (and wildly uneven) satire that's less concerned with sustainability than it is about corporate hegemony and the conflicting agendas that result from that… when people say it's a lot like THE HOST, they're not just talking about the creature, but also the attitudes she inspires.

    for the first 45 minutes, i was convinced I was watching Bong's best film. it's so rich, so soulful, and the first act is capped off with a chase…

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    brat pitt

    ★★★★★

    actors: $2000
    hair/makeup: $300
    dubbing: $1050
    lighting: $12 million
    special effects: $750

    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

  • Hidden Figures

    Hidden Figures

    Katie

    ★★★★★

    me before hidden figures : the moon landing is fake 
    me after hidden figures : THE MOON LANDING IS REAL AND HAPPENED BECAUSE OF KATHERINE JOHNSON, DORTHY VAUGHAN, AND MARY JACKSON.

  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    davidehrlich

    ★★★½

    A huge improvement over PROMETHEUS, and a film that forgives / retroactively gives purpose to its prequel, COVENANT is a majestically shot mash of almost every Alien movie that's come before it, but it only works because it clarifies that these new films are NOT really Alien movies... Prometheus was about the creation of horror, and Covenant is about the horror of creation, and a much better film for that. Scott and co are smart to realize that Fassbender —…

  • Aliens

    Aliens

    Lucy

    ★★★★

    producer guy 1: next on the agenda, what should we call the sequel to alien?
    producer guy 2: well i had an idea.... there's going to be, in fact, more than one alien in this one, correct?
    producer guy 1: yes, plural. go on
    producer guy 2: how about we just call it... Aliens. stick an S on that bad boy
    producer guy 1: bruh
    producer guy 2: bruh

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    Sally Jane Black

    CW: white supremacy/racism/whiteness, gender

    "you cannot be proud of being white & not be a racist. it's a tautology. you can be proud of your irish heritage. you can be proud of your german heritage. you can be proud of your lutheran heritage or your appalachian roots or your large italian family's sunday gravy tradition. you cannot be proud of your *white* heritage b/c there is no such thing. whiteness only exists as a power relationship. a system of domination is…

  • Passengers

    Passengers

    ASYA

    ★½

    ‪PASSENGERS WRITER 1: what do we name jennifer lawrence's character who is woken up from deep sleep by a man‬

    ‪WRITER 2: um.... aurora? lol‬

    ‪WRITER 1: greg your talent is unparalleled. here are my keys go fuck my wife‬