Alyssa Heflin

Alyssa Heflin Pro

Trans girl who watches too many movies for her own good.

Bio favorites change based on mood.

Favorite films

  • Model
  • Cemetery of Splendor
  • It's a Wonderful Life
  • The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

Recent activity

  • Godzilla Minus One

  • May December

  • Conan the Barbarian

  • Excalibur


Recent reviews

  • Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

    Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

    Small point of order but somehow Kirk manages to read all of A Tale of Two Cities while all this stuff is going down.

  • Laid-Back Camp the Movie

    Laid-Back Camp the Movie

    Not to be over dramatic but I am more fatigued from watching this than when I watched the human condition this is the longest movie of all time.

Popular reviews

  • The Birds

    The Birds


    Humans: *are horny*
    Birds of the Earth: Okay you know what, fuck this, they’re done

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    To die is to witness the end of the world. What is a bullet if not a meteor, rocketing into your orbit and shattering the hard bone that protects your universe from collapse. How does it feel to be shot in the brain? Do you disappear all at once, like an ice cube dropped into boiling water? Or do you slowly feel yourself shed your identity piece by piece? Is there a split second where all of a sudden you…