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  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    I mean it’s not good but it does beat a lot of ass which isn’t nothing.

  • Resident Evil: Afterlife

    Resident Evil: Afterlife

    All my vulgar auteurist friends have super smart reasons for liking these movies. Me? I just love to see a Wife get Respected.

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  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    To die is to witness the end of the world. What is a bullet if not a meteor, rocketing into your orbit and shattering the hard bone that protects your universe from collapse. How does it feel to be shot in the brain? Do you disappear all at once, like an ice cube dropped into boiling water? Or do you slowly feel yourself shed your identity piece by piece? Is there a split second where all of a sudden you…

  • WHAT DID JACK DO?

    WHAT DID JACK DO?

    The part where a single strand of Lynch’s perfectly coiffed hair just slumps down at the accusation that he’s lying.......how’d he do that??