Hanna ½

I had heard positive things about Joe Wright's "Hanna." Critics liked it, but I couldn't stand it. In fact, I thought it was one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time.

It's an interesting premise, and Saoirse Ronan is a good actress, but this movie was complete nonsense. It's a feral super soldier girl road trip coming of age action movie, and unbelievably, that's not nearly as interesting as it should be.

The action was just badly shot and edited. There's more emphasis on style than substance, which is bad because the style isn't that impressive in the first place. I found the characters annoying, and so many things happened in the movie that were completely unrealistic and unbelievable, it kept taking me out of the movie to the point I really began to be annoyed.

Why sacrifice realism for weak style points and lame tricks? For example, when Hanna is first in custody, a CIA agent comes to visit her in her cell. The scene starts with the agent introducing herself with her back to the camera, as well as to Hanna's back.

So many questions pop up with this arrangement: First, why is Hanna sitting in a cell with her back to the door? Even if you're not a feral supersoldier trained for years to be ultra paranoid, why would you sit with your back to the door, and why would you not turn around when someone comes into a room, especially if it's someone you requested to be there? It's natural for humans to turn and look at whoever is coming into a room.

Second, why is the CIA officer entering a room back first? Did she walk in through the doorway backwards, or did she walk into the room facing forward and then turn around when she saw Hanna facing away from her? Why is she facing away from the person she's introducing herself to? Does she know she's introducing her back to Hanna's back?

Well, the reason the agent is facing away from the camera is because the she is a decoy, and the filmmaker didn't want to let the audience know right away! The reason Hanna is facing the camera? I guess showing two backs would just be too stupid looking.

Ya see, it's this kind of silly filmmaker game playing that distracts me from the story and yanks the believeability right out from under the movie. That's just one example of unrealistic behavior that kept destroying any suspension of disbelief.

Also, every time I was getting interested in Hanna exploring her new world, it was almost always interrupted by her Rainman-esqe reciting of facts and figures. I know it was supposed to be an endearing character trait, since that's how she was raised, but it sucked that every time I was becoming interested in her experiences, her human relatability was being cut off at the knees.

The plot is convoluted and illogical, introducing dumb new characters every twenty minutes or so, making it even harder to find someone to care about.

The worst characters were the ridiculous villains. Cate Blanchett gets the worst deal of them all as the icy CIA baddie. She's right out of a awful spy cartoon.

The most unbelievable thing was that Hanna's father has been training her for years for this mission, yet by withholding so much information about how to function in modern society, she is actually woefully unprepared to deal with most technology. The film defies reality in the little details as well as the big picture. It fails on so many levels.

I can't say enough bad things about this terrible movie, but I think I'm done for the moment.