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  • mother!

    mother!

    ★★★★½

    Love it or hate it, you gotta admit -- what a fucking ride, right?

    I get why people hate this--it's an absurd, terrifying, grand, religious Kafkaesque metaphor played entirely straight. Mainstream stories normally have a familiar rhythm to them, one that subconsciously primes you to anticipate, and appreciate, a punchline. Aronofsky does away with that almost entirely to create an insanely uncomfortable environment capable of hosting increasingly disconcerting scenarios that we know, psychologically speaking, are impossible--and yet he so completely…

  • The Squid and the Whale

    The Squid and the Whale

    ★★★★★

    An escapist fantasy that dares to imagine a mythical dreamworld in which my parents had gotten divorced in 1980s Brooklyn instead of 2010s Seattle and were more intelligent but also larger assholes. Everything else is basically the same.

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  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★★½

    Chazelle. Gosling. Stone. Just one teensy-tinsy narrative sour note. And one hell of an ending.

    Y'all have no idea how hard your world is about to get rocked.

    EDIT 12/2/16: Okay. Guess y'all have a pretty good idea.

  • The Lizzie McGuire Movie

    The Lizzie McGuire Movie

    ★★★

    A classic. It's terrible in almost every way. But it's a classic.