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  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    ★★★★

    Peter Quill, hero: What's so wrong with being just like everybody else?
    Me, citizen of the United States of America and resident of Los Angeles: Bruh have you met everybody else

  • Oklahoma City

    Oklahoma City

    ★★★★

    I used to have nightmares about monsters. 

    Last night, after watching this documentary, I dreamt I heard gunshots and shot awake, paralyzed with fear that a white man with a pistol and a plan had invaded my domicile. When I shut my eyes again, I saw not darkness but a sea of swastikas. My subconscious was too on-the-nose for me to take it seriously. I went back to sleep.

    When I woke up this morning, I couldn't stop thinking about…

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  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★★½

    Chazelle. Gosling. Stone. Just one teensy-tinsy narrative sour note. And one hell of an ending.

    Y'all have no idea how hard your world is about to get rocked.

    EDIT 12/2/16: Okay. Guess y'all have a pretty good idea.

  • The Lizzie McGuire Movie

    The Lizzie McGuire Movie

    ★★★

    A classic. It's terrible in almost every way. But it's a classic.