ryan Patron

fuck it, dude. let’s go bowling.

Favorite films

  • Children of Men
  • The Empire Strikes Back
  • The Big Lebowski
  • Se7en

Recent activity

  • The Dog Who Saved Christmas

  • Violent Night


  • Candy Cane Lane


  • May December


Recent reviews

  • May December

    May December


    This is just what grown-ups do.

    I could feel the third-degree burn through the screen.

  • Memory



    They thought they could Pavlov us into liking a bad Liam Neeson movie by casting Guy Pearce in another one about someone who writes notes to himself on his body because he has memory loss.

Popular reviews

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road


    George Miller is a mad scientist. I admire those of you able to write these long, structured reviews after one viewing of this film, because I walked out of the theater with more feelings than coherent thoughts. So I apologize in advance if this review comes across as rambling. I have mostly flashes of imagery and brief moments playing out in my head (similar to Max's hallucinations), with Junkie XL's exhilarating score playing along with them. I don't think I…

  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier

    Captain America: The Winter Soldier


    I walked into the cinema with high expectations for Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and it exceeded them. It nailed pretty much everything it set out to accomplish. As a comic book movie, it's a ton of fun, with larger than life characters leaping off of the page and into a grounded, but not too grounded, world. As a political thriller, it calls attention to current events, like government monitoring and eliminating perceived threats without due process. I love The…