• Dune

    Dune

    ★★★½

    heard they were planning on calling the second one DUNE 2: DUNE VS THE ELEMENTALS (From best picture runner-up Far From Home)

    felt a strong 4 thru most of it, but then towards the end got really boring out of nowhere and i just kept checking the time to see how late it was! i had a paper due at 11 that i forgot about but oh fucking well. i was really worried this was gonna be like blade runner 2049…

  • Eternals

    Eternals

    should be called “Elementals.” gotta know the dynamic between those guys. why do hydro man and molten man hate each other??? give us an interesting and awesome movie instead of these dorky ass mfs. first step: cast dwayne johnson as that rock elemental! there ya go now make it.

  • Fear Street: 1994

    Fear Street: 1994

    ★★

    took them till the very end of the movie to finally play a song from that year that isn’t just so stupid and corny and obvious. and whats up with them letting the lesbo’s kiss and stuff?? isn’t there like a hollywood rule where the gay characters are only allowed to TALK about being gay. wtf is with all this explicit affection going on??? kind of a pleasant surprise. the movie wasn’t, the girl on girl WAS. have I made…

  • Sleepy Hollow

    Sleepy Hollow

    ★★★★

    so fucking sick!!! johnny depp is the damn GOAT! bruh are there actually people who don’t like him for some reason?? couldnt be me. dudes a freakin legend.

  • The House That Jack Built

    The House That Jack Built

    ★★★★½

    welp never watching joker ever again. no point in that shit. this movie is actually kinda hilarious in a fucked up ass way? like matt dillon is just the perfect stupid fuckin moron, killin women and shit. shouldnt have killed FRED’s mom!! raw is a perfect example of why women are horrible, and THIS is a perfect example of why men are DOPE! #true

  • Rosemary's Baby

    Rosemary's Baby

    ★★½

    its definitely good at being fucking terrifying and unsettling, but it’s a lil too long. and a lil too cheesy a lot of the time. took me like 18 years to finish this. between a 5 and a 6 somewhere

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out

    ★★★★½

    somebody say HAPPY FALL YALL?

  • The Conjuring 2

    The Conjuring 2

    ★★★

    kinda the same level as the first one. except this wasn’t as repetitive as the first so that’s nice. the first movie is just “*SCREAM!* oh no! somethings wrong in the other room! everybody run in there! what happened? someone else is here!?! we need to stop this.”

  • The Conjuring

    The Conjuring

    ★★★

    “I’m little Lucy. Just wanting a hug.” - From the acclaimed wahoo brothers movie THE X, released 1 year before this movie.

    Proof that James Wan copied us? I mean, Annabelle and Lucy? Kinda the same character. Except Lucy would totally beat the shit out of Annabelle. No doubt in my mind that would happen.

  • Nocturnal Animals

    Nocturnal Animals

    ★★★½

    i honestly dont even know what to rate this. i liked it. but i lowkey wish the script that amy adams was reading was the actual movie. does that make sense? shes reading a script someone wrote and its being played out on screen, and keeps cutting back and forth to that story and reality. but i wish the whole movie was just that story, bc every time it was amy adams on screen i was just waiting for it…

  • Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    ★★★½

    “Haddonfield was a safe place before him. He won’t stop. But WE will stop him. I created this monster. And I will end this. Evil dies tonight.” - various characters in dis moobie.

    weird watching a halloween movie with actual stuff going on. i was sitting by myself in the theater but still getting pretty weak at a lot of it. Especially Anthony Michael Hall. dude is a fucking badass motherfucker. loved him. stupid as all fuck but at least shit actually goes down. and you can’t say that about like 90% of these movies.

  • Cruel Jaws

    Cruel Jaws

    ★★

    lots of people wanting to rip other peoples balls off for some reason.

    i guess this ain’t TECHNICALLY a real Jaws movie but fuck it i dont care. THIS is what i was expecting from The Revenge. this is The Room level of ridiculous and i loved it to death. gets pretty boring here and there, but that’s to be expected with a Jaws movie that ain’t the OG. not really fun watching it by myself while at work. needs…