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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 2023
Bailed after 13 minutes. It’s cool that the recent animated Spider-Man movies are inspiring others to step away from the stale Pixar template, but Mutant Mayhem’s aesthetic isn’t nearly as compelling, and as much as I loved TMNT as a kid, it turns out I don’t need an umpteenth iteration.
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History of the Eagles 2013
The magnitude of Don Henley’s and Glenn Frey’s egos is inversely proportionate to how thoroughly boring they are, as musicians and as people, and this documentary’s biggest strength is its apparently unintentional spotlight on that phenomenon. As they pay breathless homage to every minute detail of the Eagles’ bland existence, there is genuine suspense to be had in wondering if any self-awareness will ever creep into the proceedings. (Spoiler: It will not.) When Joe Walsh shows up after the fourth album, about 47 hours into the film, it’s truly shocking to see someone in the band with actual blood in his veins.
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The Florida Project 2017
When I see a new film of almost universal acclaim, sometimes I go out of my way to read the negative reviews to get a little distance from the zeitgeist. In the case of The Florida Project’s negative reviews, I saw a few patterns:
• the expected backlash against the critical consensus
• the frustration of viewers who prefer more traditional narratives
• locals objecting to the portrayal of Florida
• accusations of poverty pornOne flavor of that last…
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The Others 2001
Remember when Nirvana exploded and every major label scrambled to sign any band they could find that was even remotely similar? Well, if The Sixth Sense is Nirvana (and given how quickly M Night Shyamalan squandered whatever goodwill his breakout hit engendered, I hesitate to draw the comparison), then The Others is Bush.
The themes, tone, essential plot points, and even the color palette are all lifted directly. To its credit, this is not immediately apparent, and the way the…