Brian Haver-Scanlon

Brian Haver-Scanlon


a pimp who does not commit suicide

Favorite films

  • G.I. Blues
  • Love Me Tender
  • King Creole
  • Speedway

Recent activity

  • The Visitors


  • Alien


  • Minions: The Rise of Gru


  • One False Move


Recent reviews

  • Alien



    Will never be able to put into words how mircaculous this movie is. So much beauty in its efficiency. Only gets better every time!

  • Minions: The Rise of Gru

    Minions: The Rise of Gru

    an iPad stuck in my toddler face at dinner. doyoyo googoo gaga ? there’s a funny joke at the end, but this is the most complete neutral brain numb content. banana.  I don’t see what’s the joke here. but I’m not a toddler so what do I know about minions the rise of gru.

Popular reviews

  • 21 Bridges

    21 Bridges


    Shoutout to the lady who loudly farted during the tense final standoff.

  • Moonfall



    So the Moon, it fell on us.. But the moon wants to help us...

    It's a long and complicated story, but deep down, the Moon doesn't want your son in jail, the Moon doesn't want you to feel guilty for the death of your best friend, the Moon doesn't want another 9/11.

    The Moon wants you to buy a Lexus.

    The Moon wants you to get back together with Halle Berry.

    The Moon really enjoyed Neill Blomkamp's Elysium (2013), I…