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  • Girl on the Third Floor

    Girl on the Third Floor

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I mean, its a movie about a really horny haunted house. You heard me right. The house is horny and it won't be turned down. Also, the lead actor is a wrestler, so...he basically acts like, well, a wrestler?

    It's not scary and its mostly a thriller that is horror-curious.

    I'd say it's an ok movie with bad acting and a derivative script (other than the horny house. that was awesome), that is also very poorly executed. The trailer is like _Pi_ times better than the actual movie, so just watch the trailer!

  • Under Siege

    Under Siege

    ★★★

    Not great, but damnit, a ton of Steven Seagal fun. A cook is an ex navy seal and an expert in martial arts!? Gotta love those knife fights!