Ethan Hawke in the flesh is 6 stars.
Dinosaurs run amok.
For the fifth time.
And, like the three previous sequels, there is absolutely zero story to be told here and no reason for anything to happen. Yet it lasts two soul destroying hours. And Chris Pratt doesn't die, which is the worst part.
Also worth noting; do the film makers not understand the value of money in 2018? Dinosaurs are sold off as weapons in a black market auction, and the film expects us to be…
To paraphrase a well known scene from Spike Lee's '25th Hour'...
Fuck Marvel Studios. Fuck hiring directors without a shred of understand of how to direct an action scene. Fuck reboots, remakes, recasting. Fucking shared universes. Fuck Jon Watts' sense of humour and using wide shots to kill a gag which wasn't funny to begin with. Fuck every single character sounding the same. Fuck the "my friends call me MJ" line. Fuck the all six writers, especially the one who…