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  • First Reformed

    First Reformed

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    By the time the end of the movie came I was holding on to hope that he would At least drink the draino. And he couldn’t even do that... come on

  • Milk

    Milk

    ½

    Look in the comments!

  • Black Mirror: White Christmas

    Black Mirror: White Christmas

    ★★★★★

    It’s like a mule kick straight to the dick

    100/100

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    ★★★★★

    Upon rewatching the movie in reverse by rewinding my VHS tape, I realized this movie is a masterpiece. 

    8.25/8.25

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    ★★★

    Tom was my first online friend. hell yes I’m watching his origin story and how he got into my computer! And my head

  • Overlord

    Overlord

    ★★★½

    Finally a movie that portrays Nazis as the bad guys

  • Annihilation

    Annihilation

    ★★½

    Me: What happened?
    Movie: I don’t know..
    Me: what did this movie want?
    Movie: I don’t know
    Me: do you know?
    Movie: I don’t know..
    Me: why did you send in 4 women after legions of military men never came back?
    Movie: I don’t know...
     Me: why is Oscar Isaac so flipping sexy?
    Movie: I don’t know
    Me: Is there any take away from this 2 hour pretentious movie?
    Movie: wonk t’nod I 
    Me: WTF? 
    Movie: I don’t know 
    Me: I’m done with this shit

  • Midsommar

    Midsommar

    ★★★★

    About 45 minutes in I realized I was not in fact watching toy story 4. I was delighted by the change, my 6 year old niece was not though. Such is life.

  • Anthrax

    Anthrax

    ★★★★★

    I remember when Gladiator won best picture and thought to myself “What in the cinnamon toast ####?!”.

    Anthrax will go down as THE biggest Oscar snub in history. In every way it is best. From the 5 minutes cattle stock photage shoot at the beggining to the groundbreaking cgi.


    This movie makes one point crystal clear, that there is a little bit of anthrax in all of us. 

  • Us

    Us

    ★★★★★

    100/100 

    I loved the twist ending where the family realized they were black. Didn’t see that one coming

  • Unbreakable

    Unbreakable

    ★★★★★

    He was dead the whole time and a super hero? 

    It doesn’t get any better!

  • Escape Room

    Escape Room

    ★★★★★

    “This movie was garbage” I echoed to myself as I was leaving the theater. That was 12 bucks I would never get back. 

    As I pressed on the door to exit the theatre the handle came off! That’s when I realized... the movie was real and I was in yet another room and must now battle for my life to escape. 

    I quickly surveyed the dark theatre to find clues. There were 82 pieces of chewed gum  under the seats,…