Spider-Man: Homecoming ★★½

What does it take to come up with the most horrible, cringeworthy dialog ever? Six writers, apparently…

(And when i say “ever”, you have to know that i really hate hyperbole. That’s why all the Marvel films really aren’t my thing: everything has to be the “most intense spectacle ever”, only to be one-upped by the next installment a few months down the lane.)

Still, Homecoming is not the worst in the MCU, because for once there were no alien portals in the sky and onedimensional villains threatening the end of the world for the millionth time. Homecoming’s stakes are surprisingly grounded, and the film tries to be more of a coming-of-age tale. However, it was all so fucking awkward that i actually longed for some stupid, brainless Iron-Man action flick.

Holy shit, did i really just write that?

So in a way this is even worse than all the other Marvel films out there: It doesn’t get the action right, and the human drama falls flat on its face, too. Some of the jokes are alright, though (once i honestly laughed out loud), and the film is incredibly meta, which – again – surprised me. But then we see Spider-Man getting stomped and crushed to death for the fifth time, which takes all of the air out of the film.

I’m going to watch Paper Towns again, which is also kinda awkward, but it has an immensely more likeable cast. The kids in that film feel like real characters, whereas here, they are just paper cutouts… (Sorry for the lame pun.)