RowanHarper has written 138 reviews for films during 2019.

  • Planes, Trains and Automobiles

    Planes, Trains and Automobiles


    The best buddy road trip movie. Really the only amazing thanksgiving film. An important tradition for me.

    If you’re looking for a film to make you laugh hysterically and cry in the span of ninety minutes look no further. Steve Martin and John Candy are on their A game, they have phenomenal chemistry and great comedic timing. The cinematography is amazing. The attention to detail is fantastic. The pacing is lightning fast. In all honesty I really don’t have any…

  • Up



    In my review of “Her” I commented about how there are very few films that actually deserve the title of masterpiece, despite how much we, as a community, throw around that term. Well I think Up is another example of a film that is a masterpiece. I say this because I don’t think that there is another film that balances so many opposing tones as perfectly as Up does, this is key because it makes every scene feel purposeful and…

  • Christmas with the Kranks

    Christmas with the Kranks


    Annoying and a waste of time. Both my mom and I share the sentiment that we never need to see this film again. Jamie Lee Curtis is absolutely unbearable in this film. Definitely one of the worst performances I’ve ever seen. But there are some good things here, The climax of the film was pretty well done and hey, it was all in good Christmas spirit at the very least at least.

  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

    National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


    “Marry Christmas”
    “Marry Christmas”
    “Marry Christmas”
    “Marry Christmas”
    “Kiss my ass”
    “Kiss his ass”
    “Kiss your ass”
    “Happy Hanukkah”

    “Hey Clark, where are going to put a tree that big”
    “Bend over and I’ll show you”

    “Well Audrey, I don’t know what to say but it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery”

    “Shitting bricks”
    “You know you shouldn’t say that word”
    “Sorry, shitting rocks”

    “Oh, Eddie if I woke up in the morning with my head down to the carpet,…

  • Klaus



    God dammit. I really wanted to love this movie, there are aspects in here that are on a 5 star level, but there are also things that a genuinely awful. This is one of the most frustrating film experiences I have had all year, but when the credits rolled it I feel as though the good more then outweighed the bad, and in the end I felt that Klaus was a more then worthwhile experience. 

    First what I liked. The…

  • Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town

    Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town


    Definitely the weakest Rankin/Bass Christmas special. This one in particular is very easy to make fun of, the dialogue and performances are hilariously bad at points - like at one point the narrator is talking about how Kris is growing up and becoming a man and then Kris just turns to the camera and says in the most cheesy deep voice “I’m a man now”  The music is not very memorable, there is one song with very heavy pedophilic implications…

  • Zathura: A Space Adventure

    Zathura: A Space Adventure



  • Arsenic and Old Lace

    Arsenic and Old Lace


    Ok, so I live in a very small town. Not a lot to do here, besides going to school, maybe out to get ice cream. We have a pizza restaurant with a small arcade in it. But that’s about it. We do however have an actual movie theater in our town, and every weekend they show a brand new release for only 5 dollars. In fact, I was able to rewatch Joker last week with all my friends for 5…

  • Notes from Melanie

    Notes from Melanie



  • Swiped



    Jesus Christ

  • The Hug

    The Hug


    Worth 5 stars for the animatronic puppet work alone, however much likes There’s a Man in the Woods a cheesy editing choice at the end is causing me to knock it half a star.

  • Dinner for Schmucks

    Dinner for Schmucks


    Fuck it. I like this movie I don’t even care.

    Octavia Spencers performance though is genuinely the worst thing ever.