RowanHarper has written 28 reviews for films rated ½ .

  • The Bye Bye Man

    The Bye Bye Man


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This is one of the absolute worst movies I’ve ever seen horror or otherwise. Some of the worst acting, worst dialogue and definitely the worst movie villain I’ve ever seen. How are we supposed to be scared of someone called The Bye Bye Man. They literally just stuck Doug Jones in a T-shirt and hoodie and called it good. This guy wants to kill everybody that hears his name “The Bye Bye Man” but he also needs to keep everyone…

  • Freak Show

    Freak Show


    Minor spoilers, but please do not watch this movie.

    Freak Show is one of the most miscalculated, poorly judged films I’ve ever seen. This is a film that deals with some very heavy content like child abuse, rape, and a literal hate crime. Yet, all of these aspects are glossed over or just plainly mishandled. There is a scene in this film where a closeted gay man attempts to rape our main character, and the film essentially tries to make…

  • The Cock Fight

    The Cock Fight


    Watched for my film lit class, can’t really say I’m a fan of animal abuse.

  • The Kissing Booth 2

    The Kissing Booth 2


    Did I spend my entire afternoon watching this movie? Yes. Am I embarrassed? Absolutely.

    Holy shit, where to begin with this? I suppose the runtime? Who do they think they are? Why is the film two hours and fifteen minutes? This film has no business being that long. A film entitled “The Kissing Booth 2” should never push an hour and a half, let alone TWO HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES. The worst thing is that most of the film is…




    Not a fan of Billie Eilish’s music, but I do respect her as an artist. There is a reason her music is as popular as it is, regardless of my personal feelings towards it. That all said, this short film is pretentious, dumb and bad. Yes, we shouldn’t judge people based on only their clothes and body, but this message feels whiny coming from rich and conventionally attractive superstar Billie Eilish.

  • Loqueesha



    One of the worst films ever made probably. This movie has been on me and my friend Ben’s radar for a long time now. I watched it in a virtual watch party with a few friends under the false idea that it fall into the so bad it’s good category. I’ll admit that it was fun to watch this with friends, but had I been watching this by myself I probably would have shut it off after twenty minutes. I get what it was trying to be, but the film is so out of touch that it just comes across terribly.

    Corona Qaurantine Rank

  • Love



    One of the most miserable films I’ve ever sat through. Boring and incredibly tedious with a plot that feels completely unfocused. There is no consistency here, no focus. Some of the dialogue, no joke, reminded me of The Room. It’s ironic that a film titled “Love” feels so devoid of that very emotion. The film is flat, dull and straight up pornographic. For me personally, it’s almost hilarious how disappointing this was after Climax. Gasper Noe had the skill to make this work, but honestly it’s just a mess.

    Corona Qaurantine Rank
    Gasper Noe Rank

  • Under the Silver Lake

    Under the Silver Lake


    Actually this movie kinda sucks. My first 4 star review is no longer valid. Now I will be clear, on the surface Under The Silver Lake is a well made film, the score is fucking awesome, Andrew Garfield does a great job, and it’s well shot. So when I rate this a half star I’m not saying it’s incompetent as something like Swiped starring Noah Centineo. But I do think UTSL is a different type of bad movie, one that…

  • #realityhigh



    “Those memes were cruel”

    This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen, or at least a contender. It absolutely glorifies the worst aspects of modern day internet culture to an offensive degree. I don’t know who it’s made for, it’s too out of touch for teenagers, yet too flashy and obnoxious for anyone over twenty. It’s truly embarrassing, I don’t know what I was expecting from a movie called #realityhigh (I mean come on) but I thought it would be…

  • The Kissing Booth

    The Kissing Booth


    “Give me your numerals, we should def catch up” 

    Coming back with that great dialogue.

    Much like other similar masterpieces, SPF-18 and Swiped, The Kissing Booth has no idea what it’s doing. The scripts in these movies are something else man. Almost every line in this movie is on par with “Better watch out! Bimbo flying!” Or “Someone call a doctor because this house is sick!” I’ve already mentioned the wonderful numeral line, but other great lines include “Dude touched…

  • The Cat in the Hat

    The Cat in the Hat


    This is the most fucked up movie I have ever seen.

    Watched while doing school work, while my internet was down. Prime viewing experience I know.

  • Zoombies