RowanHarper has written 9 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • After



    I think I’m just numb to these terrible high school/collage movies at this point, because I honestly didn’t hate this. I just found it intensely mediocre.

  • Don't Look Now

    Don't Look Now


    Wow that was pretty boring. Maybe I missed something, but honestly I got nothing out of this movie. There was nothing for me to really latch on to here. The characters were pretty uninteresting, I wasn’t really intrigued by the mystery, and the grander themes and messages I’ve seen tackled before and better a thousand times. I just was never invested in the film. It’s didn’t really creep me out either, this is not a “scary” horror film. It’s more…

  • A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!

    A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!


    You are probably wondering why the hell I would watch this. I couldn’t stand the show this is based when I was a kid, yet oddly (hah) I really enjoyed the film version when I was younger. I thought it may be fun to revisit it and try to spark some old memories. I saw it was only an hour so I decided to throw it on while I got some work done. It’s not good (shocking I know) but…

  • The Perfect Date

    The Perfect Date


    Noah’s face in the poster perfectly sums up my feelings on this film.

    Shitty Netflix Teen Movies Ranked
    Corona Qaurantine Ranked
    2019 Ranked

  • Romeo + Juliet

    Romeo + Juliet


    Full disclosure, I watched this at school for our Shakespeare unit in two different chunks on two different days. I can't say how this film flows from beginning to end pacing wise. I think this is important to mention because I think that is actually the best way to watch this. This is two completely different films put into one. This first half is literally like a Smash Mouth music video, then the second half is a really over the…

  • Skin



    After a brutal and incredibly effective assault scene, Skin spirals downhill. This was kinda stupid and pretentious. I was very impressed with the child performance though.

    Watch it here if you wish

  • Chappie



    Chappie is a movie that could have been really good with just a little more time with the script and a little more care taken during the shoot and edit. As it stands though, Chappie is a poorly acted, poorly written mess of a film.  There is dialogue and scenarios that happen in this film that are laughable. Particularly dialogue given to Hugh Jackman, as they have him playing up an Australian stereotype. The acting is atrocious, for some reason…

  • The Addams Family

    The Addams Family


    Slightly better then I thought it would be. The voice cast is really good particularly Charlize Theron and Oscar Isaac. The animation and character design are horrible. The story is dull and uninteresting. The dialogue is so random and bad at points that it becomes unintentionally funny. There’s a dance scene with Uncle Fester that is the strangest thing I’ve seen this year. 

    Also Snoop Dogg did the soundtrack for this movie...yeah

  • Toy Story 4

    Toy Story 4


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So I saw this on Friday and when I was walking out of the theater ready to give this 3.5, but then I let it breath in my head. After thinking about it I realize how truly disappointing this film is.

    This is a hard film to rate because I had a GREAT time in the theater with my friends, on a technical level Toy Story 4 is really good. The animation is really incredible especially the way this film…