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  • Holidays

    Holidays

    ★★

    Another gimmicky horror anthology, worth a look for two of its eight segments: the minimalist Easter, which is an imaginatively grotesque children's nightmare fable that bears the conspicuous stylistic imprint of The Pact-director Nicholas McCarthy, and especially for the dread-suffused, doom-laden determinism of director-to-watch Anthony Scott Burns' Father's Day.

    The remaining shorts, while slick in execution and largely watchable, range from mediocre whiffs (New Years Eve, which almost works thanks to a commanding turn by Lorenza Izzo), to the genuinely loathsome (Kevin Smith's Halloween, recognizably his within about ten seconds), with most of them sharing a common strain of casual sexism bordering on misogyny.

  • Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

    Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

    ★½

    Elder God: "The fate of the Universe will be decided as it should be. In MORTAL KOMBAT!!!" *cue '90s Eurodance theme over indifferently choreographed martial arts fight staged like garbage*

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  • Enemies Closer

    Enemies Closer

    ★★★

    [Van Damme picks an apple from an old man's garden] "Organic, good man. When I was a little boy at my grandmama's place, she had a lovely goose. I named her Édith, after the French singer Édith Piaf. I truly loved that goose. Everybody thought it was funny. Then one night when we were at dinner, my grandmama said to me 'Édith tastes good, no?' I ran out of that table, I puke up, I cry like a child. Ever…

  • The Cowboy and the Frenchman

    The Cowboy and the Frenchman

    ★★½

    The first ten minutes of this are hilarious, and then it drags on for another fifteen.