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  • The Great Wall

    The Great Wall

    ★★½

    Lots of colors and totally insane action, so diverting and kooky for the most part. Still, it needed a more committed lead actor-- Damon not only is bland, but also sounds like he's reading a foreign language, sounding out his lines phonetically. I'd kill for a late-90s Nic Cage in this.

  • Beauty and the Beast

    Beauty and the Beast

    ★★★½

    Tough one to review, because while a lot of this is really unwieldy-- and some of the choices are downright strange-- Bill Condon is a goddamn MASTER at nailing the "big moments" within musical numbers. Henceforth, I'm giving all Chicago credit, previously attributed to Rob Marshall, to Condon, because between that, Dreamgirls, and this, it's really clear that he understands that if you can create a magical moment or five, the audience is happy to forgive you for any other…

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  • Passengers

    Passengers

    ½

    In this theater, no one could hear me scream.

  • Sucker Punch

    Sucker Punch

    ½

    In case you were wondering, this is still one the ugliest, most brainless, most unpleasant, and most fucking terrible movies made in your lifetime.