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  • Wine Country

    Wine Country


    PAULA PELL 2020

    basically the Couples Retreat of this friend group, but more laughs because PELL

  • Missing Link

    Missing Link


    Saying "Laika's worst movie" is like saying "VEEP's least funny episode"-- there's an unfairly high bar in place. It's lightweight considering Laika's normal fare, but it's gorgeously animated with a couple of terrific action sequences, and it in no way whatsoever deserved the box office drubbing it took.

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    did *not* expect them to cast Joe Biden to play old Steve Rogers

  • Holmes & Watson

    Holmes & Watson


    I was going to write "genuinely the worst movie ever made" as a hyperbolic goof. Now, as I sit and think about the worst movies I've ever seen, I find myself honestly considering the possibility that it is, joking aside, the worst movie ever made. This is a glacially paced, masturbatory comedy for no one.

  • The Kid Who Would Be King

    The Kid Who Would Be King


    Charming performances, well-directed action, and a sneezy Patrick Stewart in a Led Zeppelin tee. All hail Cornish.

  • Stan & Ollie

    Stan & Ollie


    I'm usually allergic to biopics, but the gentility of this one won me over. Coogan and Reilly do a better job with their impressions/reenactments than 98% of actors in these biopics do.

  • My Neighbor Totoro

    My Neighbor Totoro


    Also a goddamn masterpiece.

  • Castle in the Sky

    Castle in the Sky


    A goddamn masterpiece.

  • Cooties



    Stumbled upon this on Cinemax late at night. I suspect that’s the perfect time for this. Better than I expected, with some genuine laughs and the gleeful joy of Rainn Wilson viciously murdering pre-teens for an hour.

  • Kingsman: The Golden Circle

    Kingsman: The Golden Circle


    Occasional good bits drowned out by an obscenely slow pace and a tremendously uninteresting plot.

  • Van Helsing

    Van Helsing


    This brand of ridiculousness, on paper, should be Very Much My Shit. Unfortunately, it aggressively, aggressively sucks.

  • Peppermint


    They did it. They made the most cliched version of this movie possible. It will never be topped.