Suicide Squad ★★★

Warning: Grammar Nazi's beware that this review lacks structure. I could fix it, but if Warner Bros. couldn't be bothered to do the same then why should I.

Suicide Squad is neither the shining hope for Warner Bros. failing franchise and neither is it the train wreck critics make it out to be. It's the first film in the DC Extended Universe that didn't make me want to gouge my eyes out. But it still disappoints with its wasted potential.

I've never witnessed a studio simultaneously so drunk on it's own power and so completely clueless as to what the audience wants. In their mad rush to change David Ayer's film and make it more "fun", they've inadvertently created a big "Fuck you" to the audience.

So you don't want the movie to be bloated? How about a first act that entirely consists of multiple origin stories and exposition. FUCK YOU. So you like Batman and want more of him? How about a 30 second superfluous cameo. FUCK YOU. So you want more coherent editing? How about we take two tonally different cuts of the film and mash them together. FUCK YOU. So you don't want an ugly cgi monster? How about an army of ugly cgi monsters. FUCK YOU. So you want more jokes and fun? How about a bunch a cringeworthy humour and a discount Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack. FUCK YOU.

The editing is Suicide Squad's biggest threat, far greater than the Joker or any other villain. It seems to be edited by a bunch of crack heads. This being a direct response to the reception to Batman v Superman. I never thought I could hate that movie anymore, but I was clearly mistaken.

The real draw of Suicide Squad isn't it's weak plot or annoying soundtrack, but the colourful characters that occupy it.

The Squad
The good:
-Deadshot: it's nice to have the old charismatic Will Smith back. The Independence day/Men in Black Will Smith, way before he was shoving his idiotic and talentless son in our faces.
-Rick Flagg: this is a character I never thought I'd get behind, even if he is a hypocrite
-Harley Quinn: my inner hormone crazied younger teenage self is rather thankful for Margot Robbie and her extremely short hotpants for bringing the character to the screen. For me Brittany Murphy was always the ideal actress to bring the character to life. Sadly she has passed on and Margot Robbie does great job in her absence. Robbie give the best performance in the DCEU with the second best character of the DCEU
-El Diablo: hands down the best character of the film and the entire DCEU. Thank you Jay Hernandez and David Ayer. He is clearly a product of David Ayer's original grittier and darker cut.

The bad:
-Slipknot: a character much like the band of the same name I couldn't give two shits about.
-Katana: a character you could dismiss as merely pandering to Chinese audiences until you realize she's Japanese
-Enchantress: not necessarily bad. She just stands around looking pretty while doing magic and shit.
-Captain Boomerang: is this the best performance I've seen by Jai Courtney? Yes it is. The Captain is just there to fill up the numbers I think. The Aussie with a pink unicorn fetish(didn't they already do that joke in Deadpool) throws boomerangs that don't even come back. He is also part of a big editing mishap they may confuse you, damn those reshoots

The ugly:
-Killer Croc

Viola Davis is brilliant, I just love her character. Amanda Waller is the big powerful government character. She's a character you would find in many action films such as the Bourne franchise. It's a character that would commonly be an old white man sitting at a desk controlling and manipulating everything. This time around it's an African-American female. Who knew a simple change up in the stereotype would be so rewarding.

Finally there's Jared Leto's Joker. An insane white trash crime lord who acts like it's The Purge everyday by wearing a Halloween costume and a whole lot of Temporary Tattoos. "Try-hard" is a word I'd use to describe Leto's performance, yet I wish he had more screen time.

The studio clearly messed with David Ayer's film. I must commend him for not going full on Trank. He understands the big studio system. Hopefully this will in enable him to do a sequel without too much studio interference.

It's a R-rated movie trapped inside the safe and bankable skin of a PG-13 flick. If any movie deserves a three hour long R-rated cut it's this one... And for the love of cinema please please get rid of your awful test audiences Warner Bros.

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