• The Trial of the Chicago 7

    The Trial of the Chicago 7

    ★★★★★

    Aaron Sorkin is still, in fact, the king of dialogue

  • Lemonade Mouth

    Lemonade Mouth

    ★★★★½

    Why Stella couldn’t understand the concept of an exclusive brand deal blows my mind

  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    ★★★★½

    Day 1 of my journey to become wider than Wilson Fisk

  • Promised Land

    Promised Land

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    What if we said fracking was good, but then we changed our minds, not because it’s bad, just because the company is big and scary

  • Princess Protection Program

    Princess Protection Program

    ★★★½

    Several war crimes were committed before Rosie could become queen

  • Happy Gilmore

    Happy Gilmore

    ★★★★

    Abe Lincoln making a surprise appearance before his ERB career started

  • The Queen's Gambit

    The Queen's Gambit

    ★★★★½

    I prefer checkers

  • Vertigo

    Vertigo

    ★★★★★

    I’ve written about 50 different reviews for this and deleted them all, so this is what you get

  • Boogie Nights

    Boogie Nights

    ★★★★½

    Is that snakeskin?

  • It Follows

    It Follows

    ★★★½

    Proof premarital sex is a sin

  • Molly's Game

    Molly's Game

    ★★★★★

    Aaron Sorkin could shit in a bag, record it for 25 hours, and say nothing, and I would still give it 5 stars

  • Hubie Halloween

    Hubie Halloween

    ★★★½

    Talk about a Halloween classic