• The Trial of the Chicago 7

    The Trial of the Chicago 7


    Aaron Sorkin is still, in fact, the king of dialogue

  • Lemonade Mouth

    Lemonade Mouth


    Why Stella couldn’t understand the concept of an exclusive brand deal blows my mind

  • Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse


    Day 1 of my journey to become wider than Wilson Fisk

  • Promised Land

    Promised Land


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    What if we said fracking was good, but then we changed our minds, not because it’s bad, just because the company is big and scary

  • Princess Protection Program

    Princess Protection Program


    Several war crimes were committed before Rosie could become queen

  • Happy Gilmore

    Happy Gilmore


    Abe Lincoln making a surprise appearance before his ERB career started

  • The Queen's Gambit

    The Queen's Gambit


    I prefer checkers

  • Vertigo



    I’ve written about 50 different reviews for this and deleted them all, so this is what you get

  • Boogie Nights

    Boogie Nights


    Is that snakeskin?

  • It Follows

    It Follows


    Proof premarital sex is a sin

  • Molly's Game

    Molly's Game


    Aaron Sorkin could shit in a bag, record it for 25 hours, and say nothing, and I would still give it 5 stars

  • Hubie Halloween

    Hubie Halloween


    Talk about a Halloween classic