Ryan

26 year old vegan straightedge moron. Wanna-be writer.

Favorite films

  • Boyhood
  • The Iron Giant
  • Halloween
  • The Thing

Recent activity

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  • Jingle All the Way

    ★★★

  • Planes, Trains and Automobiles

    ★★★★

  • The Santa Clause

    ★★★

  • Home Alone

    ★★★★

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  • The Hills Have Eyes 2

    The Hills Have Eyes 2

    ★★★

    “America’s number one, bitch!”

    the bones of the story are really interesting. a squad of national guard trainees preparing for the war in the Middle East get sidetracked from their combat training and instead are forced to confront a different enemy born from American imperialism.

    afterward I was pleased to discover that the screenplay was written by Wes Craven and his son, Jonathan. that info makes it a lot less surprising that the script is the best thing going on…

  • The Iron Giant

    The Iron Giant

    ★★★★★

    "You are who you choose to be."
    "Superman..."

    Cold War paranoia used as a vehicle to tell one of the most tender stories about identity and reconciling one's nature, well, ever. It shatters my heart into a million pieces every time, then–as miraculous as the Giant's initial arrival–remotely reassembles the shards and leaves me with the biggest, dumbest smile on my face.

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  • Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    ★★★½

    “This was a safe place and now it’s not anymore.”

    My love for the ‘78 Halloween is always solidified in its final moments when Laurie, having stared evil in the face, reckons with the fact that she will never feel safe in this world again. Even in the presence of light, she now fears the dark. 

    Apropos that, every sequel in this series was at its strongest when it examined the legacy of trauma, and the screenplay for Kills hits all…

  • Titane

    Titane

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “Love is a dog from hell.”

    Flesh will decompose. Metal will rust. Love lasts.

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  • The Thing

    The Thing

    ★★★★★

    "We're not getting out of here alive, but neither is that thing."

    The last time I saw this I was probably 9 or 10 and it was in a crowded living room at a family gathering so I barely heard any dialogue. All I saw was dudes lighting each other up with flamethrowers and some pretty impressive gore/practical effects.

    It goes without saying that this movie is a masterpiece and it does not need me to sing its praises.

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    ★★★★★

    "Permission to jump in an X-wing and blow something up?"

    I said it in my first review of TFA, and I'll say it again: I fucking love my job.

    I'm in love. Every single frame is god damn poetry.

    This might be a piping hot take at the moment — though I'm confident time will prove me right — but The Last Jedi is objectively the best Star Wars movie. It's going to take a lot of rewatches and at…