Manchester by the Sea ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

If I thought this was devastating the first time, it was even worse the second go around. It obliterated me. The beginning flashbacks are unbearable when you know what happens, and there are so many small details that might've gotten lost in the shuffle the first viewing but are excruciating once you notice them.

I don't think I'm capable of doing this film justice with a review so I'm just going to list some things that really destroyed me this time around:

- Seeing Lee get into the two fights was almost impossible for me to watch. During the second one, I closed my eyes. He gets into these fights in order to punish himself, to get hurt because he feels he deserves it. Nothing is ever made of this but it's there. And I can't take it.
- When he went to the convenience store on the night the house burned, he got diapers too. They're right there on the top of the bag, and there's something so horrifically devastating about that. He only mentions to the cops that he went out to get beer, but he clearly also noticed they needed diapers and picked them up. He thought about the kids, he was providing for them, and then he returns to....... And it's all his fault.
- Lee throws everything into boxes without a care and then takes the three photographs off the dresser and carefully rolls them up with a towel to protect them. And then carefully places them on his bedside table in Joe's house. And we never see these pictures, not even a glimpse, but we know they're his kids. And every time, it shatters me.
- "I can't beat it. I can't beat it. I'm sorry." This line alone deserves the Oscar.

There are more things I could mention but I made myself cry again so I'm gonna stop there.

This film has officially become an all-time favorite. It is perfect in my eyes, one of the most emotional and human things I've ever seen. I will remember it always, and carry it with me.

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