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  • Honey Boy

    Honey Boy

    ★★★★★

    I’d have sex with all the Shias. Anyway this is maybe my favorite movie of the year.

  • Hustlers

    Hustlers

    ★½

    Never has a movie with more interesting subject matter been more boring. It gets any stars because J. Lo is the most insane looking woman on the planet, and I guess because girl power or whatever. But in general, no, fuck you.

  • Little Women

    Little Women

    ★★★½

    I want to fuck Chalamet. And I want to fuck the dresses in this movie.

  • Welcome to Marwen

    Welcome to Marwen

    ★★★★

    All of my friends need to see this movie. Unbelievable. I’m not going to spoil it but it’s about gender-non conforming people. Unreal movie.

  • Misery

    Misery

    ★★★★½

    Tense the entire time. Love movies with teeny casts. Obviously Kathy bates is the goat but also the dude who played the sheriff? Phenomenal. J’adore

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★½

    I would fuck Robert Pattinson so much. He’s the hottest person in the world.

  • Hocus Pocus

    Hocus Pocus

    ★★★½

    Shitty on the rewatch but the singing and performances are very good. But it is about Halloween so we stan.

  • Halloweentown

    Halloweentown

    ★★★★★

    Satan has cursed me with the ability to give a fuck about children’s movies. This shit bottles everything that kids love about Halloween, and if you know me, you know I’m a stone cold stan for these movies- and by the way, there are a TON of others with this same predilection. There’s Instagram accounts and tumblrs about these damn movies, and enough public interest that they rebuild the set of in Portland where it was filmed every October. Portland…

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street

    A Nightmare on Elm Street

    ★★★

    Hmmm okayyyy we stan a dream demon

  • It Chapter Two

    It Chapter Two

    ★★½

    Not as scary as the first one, but pretty funny! Jessica chastain sucked. Everyone else was great and was SO well matched to their child counterparts. Also- the production design just sucked. For a movie that cost that much money, it seems like no one paid ANY attention to the way shit looked. Fuck u, you disappointed me.

  • The Matrix

    The Matrix

    ★★★★★

    Best movie of all time

  • The Love Witch

    The Love Witch

    ★★★★½

    Just so so fun to watch. So pleasing. I’m an Anna biller stan now. She WROTE the MUSIC even! And costumes and sets! Unreal. The sally-est movie possible. Such a joy. I immediately want to watch it again.