• Love on a Leash

    Love on a Leash

    ★★★★★

    Genuine pure psychological horror following the story of one woman’s breakdown at the hands (paws?) of her manipulative lover  

    “You don’t need a god, I’m right here”

    Every single line in this has UNBELIEVABLE line delivery

  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I want the scorpion king hoodie


    I also want my two sweet himbo boys Jupiter and Angel. When Steven Yeun did the little thumbs up, yes sir 


    Really fun that they had a completely horrific sequence in it that made me Uber uncomfortable and also like fun silly little sibling antics :)

  • Sing

    Sing

    ★★★

    I want that rat DEAD and not just bc he’s voiced by Seth Macfarlane

  • The Addams Family

    The Addams Family

    ★★★½

    Yeah now THAT’S MILF

  • Nitram

    Nitram

    ★★★★

    I hope Gilbert is ok

  • The Void

    The Void

    ★★

    Cool little gooey monsters

    “I hate my wife but I looove triangles”

    I just need one final thing… cum 

  • All My Friends Hate Me

    All My Friends Hate Me

    ★★★½

    Yeah Tories are just like that :/

  • Stranger by the Lake

    Stranger by the Lake

    ★★★★

    Now, I’m not saying I don’t get it: the moustache, Vers etc etc, but saying “I think I’m falling in love” after a singular hookup… pull yourself together twink!!!

    Top 3 moments I screamed

    1. The handshake after the blowjob
    2. Come back later, we’ll be fucking later
    3. “Michel!”

    Love Henri 🥺

    You expect me to believe Inspector DAM-RODer wasn’t there for a bit of fun himself? 

    Also, maybe I’m naive and I’m not complaining but I was really not expecting that long and explicit a sex scene

  • Crimson Peak

    Crimson Peak

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Jessica Chastain: I won’t stop until you kill me or I kill you 

    Mia Wasikowska: Go to horny mail *bonk*

  • Men

    Men

    ★★★

    Mansplain, manipulate… malewife

    This isn’t all men, that’s literally just what Rory Kinnear is like

    Chad Jessie Buckley vs the Virgin Vicar

  • Vortex

    Vortex

    ★★★½

    Yknow what, let’s NOT have a Kiki, he’s an absolute menace


    Gosh this was a lot huh? Like not a usual Noe a lot but a lot nonetheless

  • The Lego Batman Movie

    The Lego Batman Movie

    ★★★½

    Before watching this, my friend told me this film allegedly had gay undertones… baby these are OVERtones