Suspiria ★★★

If the worst part of the original Suspiria is that it was quintessentially Italian in its pursuit of pretty shots and vacuousness, then this is the bad for all the opposite reasons.

It’s ugly by design and overly thought out and cramped with ideas. So crammed in fact, with its half baked psychoanalysis, that it somehow returns to the originals vacuousness. A similar reversal happens again visually, as the shots aren’t even very ugly since the film lacks the boldness to actually make an ugly movie. Perhaps a few Kiyoshi Kurosawa films might inspire our director on how you could embrace the ugly.

The pseudo-ugliness isn’t very off putting so I didn’t really mind, but having a character literally say Lacan’s name off-hand and then have the character just write the word simulacrum is. What are you trying to say? WHAT ATE YOU TRYING TO SAY? Richness of themes does not mean you drop 700 themes into the pot like you’re Godard on a book bender, what in the actual fuck is the movie about. Is it about Lacan’s desire lines, is it about Baudrillard (who hasn’t released his book on simulacra at this point, so maybe the original metaphysical contexts?), or is it about Wiccan mythology?

It’s so long and it says so much that you just can’t really get anything out of it, though there are a lot of pleasurable elements to its artifice and ambition that I thought were a lot of fun. The ridiculous conclusion, the dance scenes, the Tilda swinton, the egregious hypocritical nudity.

Oh Jesus don’t even get me fucking thinking about the gender politics of this oh god.

In the end it’s a superficial bore that I kind of enjoy for it’s concept and ambition more than anything about it. Or did I mean the new Suspiria?