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  • Cinderella

    Cinderella

    ★★★½

    I’ll never know if this was my first movie ever, but it’s definitely the first movie I ever liked. I watched this so many times, and the last time was probably 18 years ago; therefore almost every image is seared way deep down into my brain somewhere, but that also means I forgot things like how much of this is padded out with those annoying mice. I had such gut-wrenching reactions to this—phew ma'am, the nostalgia. I think I convulsed…

  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    ★★★★½

    This shit is why we all think we’re cinephiles.

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  • Scooby-Doo

    Scooby-Doo

    ★★★½

    Matthew Lillard as Shaggy
             👸🏻
               |\👐🏻
              / \_
    ━━━━━┓ \\
    ┓┓┓┓┓┃Heath Ledger
    ┓┓┓┓┓┃as The Joker
    ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ヽ🤡ノ
    ┓┓┓┓┓┃   /
    ┓┓┓┓┓┃ ノ)
    ┓┓┓┓┓┃
    ┓┓┓┓┓┃

  • Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

    ★★★

    Yeah, I don’t dig it. For me, there’s just no momentum. You gotta be down with Tarantino’s style (I am), down with the era nostalgia (I’m indifferent), and down with DiCaprio’s mugging (I seem to be one of four people in the world who absolutely is not—he’d be the most popular actor in the Dallas community theatre scene). Can’t bring myself to pick a side on the whole Why Doesn’t Margot Robbie Have More To Do debate because there’s not…