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  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    ★★★★½

    This shit is why we all think we’re cinephiles.

  • Motherless Brooklyn

    Motherless Brooklyn

    ★★

    Joaquin Phoenix and Ed Norton are both gonna get nominated for Best Actor huh. God I hate movies.

  • Train to Busan

    Train to Busan

    ★★★½

    A bit too blunt for me here, a bit too hokey for me there, but riveting all the way. Choo choo bitches!

  • Gemini

    Gemini

    ★★

    My patience for this sort of ambient L.A. neon-noir is wearing pretty thin, which is too bad, since this was my favorite trailer to watch every week back when I had MoviePass. Not as irritating as The Neon Demon, but it’s still all twists with no mystery.

  • Jojo Rabbit

    Jojo Rabbit

    ★★★

    Very clever, but the teeth aren’t very sharp—it’s the funniest and edgiest movie of the year for people who don’t see a lot of movies. I’ll admit to laughing plenty, even if it did take a long time for me to warm up to this, and even then I never really got there. The kids are awesome though; Edward Norton has already lost Best Actor to Roman Griffin Davis and his movie hasn’t even come out yet.

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★½

    Untitled Gull Game

    It's a lovely day on the island, and you are a horrible gull.

    Untitled Gull Game is a slapstick-stealth-sandbox, where you are a gull let loose on an unsuspecting island. Make your way around the rock, from peoples' barracks to the water supply to the sharp jagged cliffs, warning of danger, signifying doom, squawking a lot, and generally ruining everyone’s day.

    Featuring:
    • A horrible gull (that's you)
    • An island populated by men who have too much repressed shame and not enough tolerance for solitude (you hate them)
    • A dedicated honk button (!!!)

  • Wounds

    Wounds

    ★½

    (•_•)
    <) )╯ maybe the real wounds
     / \

    \(•_•)
      ( (>  were the ones we gave each other along the way
      / \

  • Dogtooth

    Dogtooth

    ★★½

    As usual with all this goddamn Yogurt Land Thanos stuff, I can’t tell if I’m being lulled into rapture or into sleep.

  • Eyes Wide Shut

    Eyes Wide Shut

    ★★½

    I sat up VERY straight during That Sequence—the journey into the sex cult is thrilling and hypnotic, and the matter-of-fact sexuality and use of masks slid the absurd detachment of everything that came before into place for me. For a little bit, anyway. Otherwise...nah. This is not an uncommon reaction for me with Kubrick: I often find one bravura sequence to latch onto, and then leave wondering where the rest of the movie was. This feels beamed in from outer…

  • Twitches

    Twitches

    ★★½

    Cute.

    Here’s the drinking game we played—drink every time:
    • The Darkness appears onscreen
    • their necklaces flash
    • a spell is cast
    • the socioeconomic contrast between the two sisters is highlighted and critiqued

    And finally, chug the rest of your drink when “Rush” by Aly & AJ plays.

  • Goodnight Mommy

    Goodnight Mommy

    ★★

    Goes for atmospheric, ends up anemic.

  • Parasite

    Parasite

    ★★★★½

    And the other girls?