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  • The Bells of Death

    The Bells of Death

    ★★★★½

    I used to go to this video store in Vancouver, down off Pender in Chinatown, and buy Shaw Bros DVD's for around five bucks a pop (I feel like I should get extra cool points for stumbling across them myself, pre-Kill Bill). While the shop was loaded with bootlegs, the Shaw films were the legit Celestial Pictures releases and they all had English subtitles. I probably picked up around a dozen or so in all, ranging from big ones like…

  • Gandahar

    Gandahar

    ★★★★½

    Twice I have played god, and twice I have suffered the consequences.

    The first time, my brothers and I thought it would be a good idea to dig out an ant colony, capture the queen, and baptize her with gasoline and fire. So consumed were we with unbridled power that as we tore into the ant hill we failed to notice the waves of infantry marching up our legs. Our reign ended in a woeful (and pantless) retreat, with much…

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  • Dangan Runner

    Dangan Runner

    ★★★★

    Watching these cats run their hearts out reminded me of a night I hadn’t thought about in ages...

    Years ago, when time was just a plaything, a few of us decided to make a short film called The Twilight Stone, sort of a Reefer Madness sendup about two girls (both named Heather) who smoke a spliff one night and lose their damn fool minds. After an extended hallucinatory sequence (making use of all the in-camera effects standard to late 90’s…

  • Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

    Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

    ★★

    Did you ever see that Simpsons episode where Homer takes the ten-foot hoagie home from the company picnic and over the course of the next few weeks (months?) tries to get through it? And even after the sandwich goes moldy and starts sprouting mushrooms he still keeps eating it? 

    That’s a fairly accurate representation of my relationship with this franchise.