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  • Hardware

    Hardware

    ★★★★½

    We all like getting new toys for Christmas. Hardware is about a salvage sculptor who is gifted a misanthropic robot skull by mistake. Whoops. Big ups to the production design, cinematography, and score for making this a stylish industrial/cyberpunk horror show. The scene when M.A.R.K. 13 assembles itself in a tangle of blades and cables is the closest thing to my own personal nightmare fuel. Crucial viewing

  • Blood Beat

    Blood Beat

    ★★★

    The title Blood Beat sounds like an amazing copsploitation movie. What it actually is is a bizarro supernatural samurai Christmas slasher film that melds heartland Americana with Eurotrash surrealism. Raimi meets Rollin meets... whoever did Manos. A bonkers and unpredictable holiday treat that's as entertaining as it is head-scratching. Your first time with it will be unforgettable.

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  • The Toxic Avenger

    The Toxic Avenger

    ★★★★

    The only avenger that matters.

  • Cutting Class

    Cutting Class

    ★★★½

    It took me a few minutes after the movie ended to really appreciate what I had just seen. I could've written it off as a subpar slasher film so many times throughout it, but it wraps up very nicely in the end. Despite the moderate body count and mild nudity and violence, Cutting Class was quite alright. A very young Brad Pitt playing the asshole only he can play, Roddy McDowell as the obligatory pervy principal, the prerequisite student-hating greasy…