John Wick

John Wick ★★★★

me, on my couch, kinda stoned, being a smart ass: ugh I hate in these action movies how these guns seemingly never run out of bullets like, he's already fired 8 rounds? no way he's got anything more
Keanu Reeves: *takes time to realistically reload his guns*
me: oh so he knocked a guy to the ground, big whoop, that guy's just gonna get back up in a few seconds duh!
Keanu Reeves: *puts a bullet in everyone's head for good measure*
me: right like he's gonna shatter these windows and make all this noise in a residential area without getting a complaint
Keanu Reeves: *has a relationship with the police*
me: so those bodies are just gonna rot there?
Keanu Reeves: *calls a clean-up service to professionally handle the bodies*
me: and where is he going to go now?
Keanu Reeves: *goes to a hotel that literally caters to assassins and what-not*
me: okay but he IS going to need to see a doctor about this stab wound at LEAST
Keanu Reeves: *has an entire scene in which a doctor sews him up*
me:'s he gonna get around now that his car was stolen in the first scene??
Keanu Reeves: *is gifted a car*
me: ...alright go 'head then!

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