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  • Blindspotting

    Blindspotting

    ★★★½

    A man, back-turned in the deep background of the scene, makes out with a girl.

    Me, immediately, out loud in the theatre, 100% sure: "That's Jonathan Groff."

  • Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    Mission: Impossible - Fallout

    ★★★★

    C I N E M A

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  • The Beautiful Person

    The Beautiful Person

    ★★★★

    Garrel and Seydoux don't make out because, if they did, French cinema would implode.

  • The Boy Next Door

    The Boy Next Door

    ½

    The Boy Next Door: I bought you a copy of The Iliad by Homer.
    Jennifer Lopez: Is this a first edition?!
    Me: FFS OMFG R U FUCKING KIDDING ME *BURNS ENTIRE THEATRE DOWN. NO ONE SURVIVES. NOT EVEN THE CHILDREN*