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  • The Brown Bunny

    The Brown Bunny

    ★★★★★

    aka Floral Patterns

    A gently masculine, heartbreaking road movie about deep-seated grief, trauma, culpability, helplessness, and the repeated, unwelcome rediscovery of your irreparably crippled sexuality in the wake of trying to desperately assemble one cheap simulacrum after another in order to recreate the only love that ever felt real, no matter how toxic, inadvisable, or doomed it always was.

  • Hollywood 90028

    Hollywood 90028

    ★★★★★

    Michelle: "Do you live alone?"
    Mark: "Everybody lives alone."

    Quite possibly the greatest, least discussed, and nearly forgotten film about Los Angeles and its beautifully, tragically endemic culture of twenty-somethings who have abandoned family, friends, and the comforts of home in pursuit of big city dreams. It is a reality that everybody recognizes, but that few would ever openly admit - especially to one another. Life in LA is frequently difficult, at times utterly unmanageable, and by default requires of…

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  • The Hottie & The Nottie

    The Hottie & The Nottie

    ★★★

    Yes, I’m giving this the same rating as ROMA. Deal with it. 

    Is this movie genuinely mean-spirited or does it shine a light on society? 😋

    A technically well-made, if baseline morally objectionable and also deeply problematic, motion picture. I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t actually enjoy this one-of-a-kind romcom trash, though. Sure, it is beyond obvious where it’s headed and as superficial as cosmetic surgery, but maybe all of us would do well to recognize our inner…

  • Hush

    Hush

    ★★★

    “These nuns love a fetus!” - Grandma

    H.U.S.H. = Horses Understand Secret Homicide

    Summer - or, Winter, rather - in the country just ain’t what it used to be. From this place called Kilroman, you can’t go home again. You won’t go home again. Mother forbids it. A predictably dumb, but sassy/catty power struggle between Queen Bitch™ Jessica Lange, her little prince, and the prince’s brand new most important woman in his life, city grrrl Gwyneth Paltrow (who sometimes slips into a southern accent for no good reason).

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  • The Punisher

    The Punisher

    ★★★★★

    Forget PUNISHER: WAR ZONE. Goldblatt made an 80s action masterpiece.

    10 reasons why you should stop everything and watch THE PUNISHER now:

    1. Dolph Lundgren (!) as Frank Castle / The Punisher.
    2. Jeroen Krabbe (!) as the new don of the Italian mafia.
    3. Explosions. Lots of 'em. Explosions within explosions.
    4. Scuba-Ninjas. Stop. Read it again. Fucking scuba-ninjas!
    5. A deadly woman who crucifies a man with her earrings.
    6. A vision of Castle as a broken, fragile,…

  • Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films

    Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films

    ★★★★

    "If something excites you, be brave. And go! Try to do it good, but do it." - Menahem Golan

    Two cousins, their sincere love of cinema, and the collapse of their empire.

    Hartley's previous doc (MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED!) fell victim to a sad tragedy in that it spent ninety agonizing minutes making fun of and shaming its subject matter. ELECTRIC BOOGALOO begins with the same regrettable tone, calling the films "silly," "stupid," and "low budget," but after 15 minutes, the…