Artemis Fowl ½

The most insulting adaptation since The Last Airbender. An absolutely worthless piece of dogshit that sucks every compelling element out of an incredible book series and deforms it into an unrecognizable pulp. Every character is uninteresting, every directorial choice is incomprehensible, every scene is indescribably awful in its own unique way. Avoid this movie at all costs, especially if you have even the slightest attachment to the original source material.