• Phineas and Ferb: The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension

    Phineas and Ferb: The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension

    MASTAPEECE. Should not work nearly as well as it does

  • Parasite

    Parasite

    Let's get one thing straight: Parasite is phenomenal. It's a stunning, subtle, and immensely powerful piece on class warfare and the nature of the human condition. It's also a tense, funny, extremely entertaining film that didn't feel its length at all. Go into it without knowing anything if you can; it made my viewing experience all the more exciting.

    But with that said...I didn't really like the ending? Tons of details, character arcs, and storylines felt like they were dropped…

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★★

    The closest thing we'll get to a modern-day 2001: A Space Odyssey.

    Robert Eggers has given us an absolutely mesmerizing piece of art that begs to be interpreted in a number of ways. I couldn't tell what the hell it meant while I was watching it, and from the sound of things, neither could the other 20-somethings I left the theater with. This is not a film that will appeal to everyone; not in the slightest.

    And yet, even though…

  • Joker

    Joker

    I've never been less enthusiastic to give a 7/10. This movie and the endless media cycle around it has genuinely exhausted me. It's not worth all the hype or fuss, it's just a good standalone movie with a hilariously bad story bolstered by an excellent score, great cinematography, and an intensely committed central performance. Calling it a masterpiece, however, is a bit of a joke.

  • Tall Girl

    Tall Girl

    So then I said to her "Taylor Swift? More like Taller Swift" and the entire class laughed. The teacher laughed too and started clapping. Soon the entire school was applauding and the local news came to do a story on me and my amazing joke

  • Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

    Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

    I like to move it move it out of the theater after the first 20 minutes are over cause wow the movie goes downhill hard

  • Ralph Breaks the Internet

    Ralph Breaks the Internet

    I can't decide if I hate the movie itself more or I hate what it represents more but suffice to say I hate both of them pretty significantly

  • Penguins of Madagascar

    Penguins of Madagascar

    This is like Minions except not terrible

  • Shrek Forever After

    Shrek Forever After

    Something tells me I should review this movie...

    ...eh, nobody wants to see that probably.

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    ★★★★½

    Rewatched this because Dunkey told me to and surprise surprise it's still magnificent. I'm not super into Ryan Gosling's performance but the gorgeous cinematography, breathtaking musical numbers, electric romantic chemistry, and sublime writing perfectly illustrate why Damien Chazelle is an absolute master of his craft. Not quite as perfect as Whiplash, but it does have the slightly better ending. Hell, maybe the best ending I've ever seen in a movie.

  • The World's End

    The World's End

    A bit weak comedically, but it's still an incredible, subversive, witty, amazing film. The dramatic stuff here is the best in the trilogy, the stakes are easily the highest, the characters are fun and entertaining. It's a fantastic finish to one of the greatest trilogies ever made, even if it falls ever so slightly short of Hot Fuzz.

  • Hot Fuzz

    Hot Fuzz

    A bit of a slow burn at times and those twat side cops are really irritating. But the payoff is beyond phenomenal; this is a fantastic, hilarious murder mystery turned action masterwork, where every line of dialogue can and will come back later in some shape or form. An step up from Shaun of the Dead in terms of tight direction and an even tighter screenplay.