James has written 2 reviews for films rated ½ during 2020.

  • Mulan

    Mulan

    Fucking worthless. It strips the original film of nearly everything that made it special, but forgets to add anything worthwhile as a substitute. It is inferior to the original in literally every respect. If that's not enough, it also contains the most fucking abysmal editing I've ever seen in a major motion picture. I'm baffled that Disney considered this theater-worthy for the longest time, and doubly insulted that they have the gall to charge $30 for such an irredeemably awful pile of garbage. A new low for the Disney live-action remakes.

    But at least it's better than Artemis Fowl.

  • Artemis Fowl

    Artemis Fowl

    The most insulting adaptation since The Last Airbender. An absolutely worthless piece of dogshit that sucks every compelling element out of an incredible book series and deforms it into an unrecognizable pulp. Every character is uninteresting, every directorial choice is incomprehensible, every scene is indescribably awful in its own unique way. Avoid this movie at all costs, especially if you have even the slightest attachment to the original source material.