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  • Trouble in Paradise

    Trouble in Paradise

    ★★★★★

    The finest possible champagne.

  • John Wick: Chapter 2

    John Wick: Chapter 2

    ★★★★

    Avoids the pitfall of too many action flicks by introducing a fresh set of scenarios and challenges while still delivering all the badass fight scenes you could ever hope for. Honestly, I was hooked within the first 10 seconds, when footage of Buster Keaton nearly getting hit by a train is projected onto a New York skyscraper--but it kept me hooked throughout.

    BONUS: no dead dogs

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  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I thought it ruled, first off. I thought it was fun, beautifully shot, entertaining from start to finish. It was densely packed, plot-wise, but I thought it moved things along really well. It seems to me that most of the people who disliked it or were lukewarm (haha! get it?!) to it are turbo-nerds who suck and who don't enjoy anything for itself, but who just want everything explained to them every second and for it to fit their pre-determined…

  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★★

    How much do you suppose Michael Fassbender can squat? His ass in that jumpsuit, whew! 🍑