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  • Twin Peaks: The Return

    Twin Peaks: The Return


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Please bear with me, I have never attempted to review* something as long as an entire television season. The task seems especially daunting because although I wouldn't argue that The Return should be approached as one very long movie, it's definitely not "just" the belated third season of ABC's Twin Peaks. It's more like a sequel in epic miniseries form, harnessing the lapse in real-world time to begin far from the familiar faces and places, incrementally finding its way back…

  • The Premonition

    The Premonition


    Perfectly depressed flute music vibes for a gray, rainy afternoon, this is the spooky '70s in a big cocoa-colored stoneware mug. Richard Lynch is especially excellent as a skeezeball who wears clown makeup when he snaps pics of little kids at the Mississippi State Fairgrounds, in which capacity he spots his mentally unstable ladyfriend's (Ellen Barber) biological daughter. They plot and eventually succeed in abducting little Janie (Danielle Brisebois, the kid from Archie Bunker's Place!) from the wholesome couple who've…

Popular reviews

  • Blood Feast

    Blood Feast


    In a year that has mercilessly claimed icon after icon, yesterday's passing of Herschell Gordon Lewis hit me the hardest. I'll let other people tell you about Blood Feast's undeniable historical importance. I can only try to describe its influence on me, and some of the thoughts that ran through my skull as I revisited it in tribute last night.

    Somewhere within this admirably artless production lies the key to my obsession with shoestring gore, where the limbs are clearly…

  • Beyond the Seventh Door

    Beyond the Seventh Door


    Made for pennies in Toronto by native Croatian Bozidar D. Benedikt, this '80s SOV obscurity concerns ex-con Boris (Lazar Rockwood), whose former flame Wendy (Bonnie Beck) now works and lives in some sort of castle. Wendy helps Boris enter its basement to steal a rumored treasure, unaware that Lord Breston has a modest network of booby trapped rooms down there to stop any would-be robbers. The bulk of the movie therefore plays like a Z-grade precursor to Cube, as the…