Favorite films

  • The Holy Mountain
  • Stalker
  • Ran
  • Barry Lyndon

Recent activity

  • Peppermint Candy


  • Tokyo Story


  • Tokyo Story


  • The Fall


Recent reviews

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems


    "Holy shit I'm gonna cum"

    Uncut Gems is one of the most unpleasant films of 2019. Characters are constantly yelling over each other, the pacing is frantic, and information gets delivered very quickly, making the experience incredibly stressful. Not only does the film rarely take a break, it also keeps increasing the tension and stakes of the story.

    Something that really elevates Uncut Gems beyond the anxiety inducing part of it is the story that creates the anxiety. Under all…

  • Long Day's Journey Into Night

    Long Day's Journey Into Night


    "The difference between a movie and a memory is that movies are always false"

    The quote above is probably not that closely related to the review, but I'm putting it in because it makes me look smart and cool

    Long Day's Journey Into Night is the best Tarkovsky/Wong Kar-wai influenced DMT trip detective noir descent into the delusions of someone's mind that I've seen, and also the only one I've seen. While how I described it makes it sound insane,…

Popular reviews

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice


    When I walked out of the theater, my mind was blown, it was like someone parked a bus up my ass sideways. A weird tall pale man who was in the theater with me got hit by a car after the film was over, it was that good. The film that is closest to this in terms of quality is Madagascar 2, and even that film was miles below this cinematic experience. The way that Zaddy elevated this to another…

  • Oldboy


    Directing this is Spike Lee Doing the Wrong Thing