Grimm's Snow White ★½

The Asylum Ranked

I've been having bad luck with The Asylum recently. Ever since Nazis at the Center of the Earth nothing has been able to break into the coveted Top 5. So Snow White was both a relief and a disappointment: relief because it wasn't so terrible as the rest, but disappointing because it still wasn't all that good.

For a lay audience there are a few pretty massive barriers to entry here. As usual with The Asylum, the CGI is awful. I mean, the magic mirror's mouth doesn't even move when it speaks. On top of this, some of the props are distractingly obvious (eg. you can see where the elf ear extensions end) and some of the sets look like a crew member's house or back yard. And as always the performances feel as though the director just did one take of every scene (because, honestly, that's probably how it works).

Beyond that though there's some skill at work behind the scenes here. This is probably the best shot Asylum feature I've seen to date, with creative angles (eg. Snow White is introduced through an awesome doubly mirrored shot) and skillful tracks and dollies (who am I kidding, it's probably all handheld). As with Apocalypse Pompeii there's also a focus on character which is refreshing even if it generally falls pretty short. The conflict relies too heavily on the central romance which doesn't have enough time spent developing (love at first sight syndrome), but to be fair it's actually not much worse than from some big budget Hollywood productions.

If you ever wanted a poorly made Snow White film with elves and dragons instead of dwarves then this is the movie for you!

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