"My potatoes! I've been robbed!"

Frank the Bunny and Snake Oiler seek the help of drunk Johnny Nitro to overthrow the heartless tyrant Dylan Vox, King of The Asylum, and the result is the exact opposite of the silly, fun romp that summary sounds like it should be. Hercules Reborn is decidedly a step up for The Asylum in terms of its visual presentation, but a massive step down in terms of its tone.

Let's get one thing clear: it's not money that makes The Asylum good or lack thereof that makes them bad. It's their ludicrous no-holds-barred sense of humor. It's the fact that they would make a movie about shark-infested tornadoes populated with absolutely awful CGI. Instead, Hercules Reborn is painfully self-serious. It tries to tackle heavy issues like rape, child murder, alcoholism, and suicide, topics which it (ironically enough) doesn't have nearly the strength to carry.

The four central players all have capable screen presences, and the film plays out as an interesting twist on the traditional Western narrative structure, but there's not anything that makes up for its dour atmosphere and inept thematic execution. I cringed more times than I smiled. I always try to look for the best in these movies, but tragically Hercules Reborn falls into the same category as Asian School Girls of great b-movie potential wasted on unwatchable subject matter.

2014: New Releases | The Asylum