The entire first half is thoroughly unenjoyable, almost a chore. The second half feels like a completely different movie and has real moments of emotional brilliance. The one-night-stand in the cornfield was so effective, like sexual Disney romance. And it apparently produces a child who will go on to find his Dad, a junkie member of a psyche band, schlep around with him and grow up to be a popstar. I would have liked more of this, more…
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The Appointment 1981
This movie is a mood spell. It can and will manipulate your emotions and physical state of comfort. I don't know how to talk about the opening scene, but for those who have seen this and have read my review for the Blair Witch Project, that's what I thought was going to happen to me and/or Meagan in the 6th grade at that slumber party. I wasn't expecting this to be an intense character study of a haunted…
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Changing Lanes 2002
Entertaining if not occasionally tepid/dated thriller. The racial disparity is meant to be thinly veiled but a little too subtle to set the stage. Teases the adrenaline but I struggled with the one-upmanship of their tactical vengeance. Macho and exhausting (the point, I know). Samuel L. Jackson was solid as always, reminded me of Kirk Douglas in Fallen Down. Ben Affleck was competent but the character is too unlikable and irredeemable by my measure.
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Nieng Arp 2004
Saga of the green Cambodian bodiless vampire of the Zen Spa dynasty. Plastic aura, hollow performance art, video soap opera, jungle plasma. It's long and mostly a retelling of every krasue movie I've ever seen but as it exists in the Ghost Mall universe I'm connected to it on a molecular level. Holographic Jade flying headed wytch as a screen saver as a movie.
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Addicted to Murder 2: Tainted Blood 1998
I didn't remember much about the first Addicted to Blood but I figured it wouldn't matter. Totally mattered. Had the feeling of walking into a movie half way. People, don't ask me why I can't remember things. There are a lot of shot on video vampire movies, I think maybe watching too many Pendulum films can give you early dementia. So I had no idea what was going on but that didn't prevent me from liking the film.…
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And God Created Woman 1988
Best thing about watching this is knowing I can definitely let go of the tape thus creating an open spot on the shelf for one of my floor movies. In this sense failure is actually the greatest achievement.
I can tell they're using 1950's French romance movie logic to navigate this plot and it's not working for me. Sex scene at the beginning was hawt tho.
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Andromedia 1998
If you want to know how to upload your loved one onto a computer, you're out of luck because I watched this movie and I'm beginning to think you can't really do that.
At it's best it has lite-August in the Water Tokyo Teens-in-love cyberspace energy. At it's worse uhm, it's a sub-par 90's Takashi Miike movie that is cheap, slow and mostly not fun. What can I say? You know how his shit can be. Will someone please make this man edit? Like, more though.
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The Rainmaker 1997
Claire Danes' character seems to only exist for the purpose of making Matt Damon look like a hero. If that entire story line was cut you'd still have a full movie, and honestly a better one. I said this to my Mom and she said "you didn't like Claire Danes?", and I was like "Um, I will always love Claire Danes, she deserved better." A familiar problem with "the hero's journey". There's one voice, one path, all life circulating one…
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All the Love You Cannes! 2002
Fuck, man. What an emotional roller coaster this was for me. Did not see that coming. Not at all an endorsement, you should know by now if you're the type of person who needs to see this.
First observation: Smart of Lloyd to turn this trip into a documentary, although it does seem as though some of his educational "Make Your Own Damn Movie" type of material is a bit redundant. Still, I found it somewhat informative if…
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Another Heaven 2000
I don't know what I expected this to be, but not THIS. I figured something between a cop drama and slasher, and it starts out as such. The moment which what's going on is revealed to be more closely related to the supernatural is a scene I'll likely never forget. SHE'DOIN'WHA'NOW??!! Not to get everyone all excited but at times it felt like a lesser Angel Dust. Speaking of Sogo Ishii, this was the first on-screen appearance of…
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Ankle Biters 2003
Blade rip-off except with vampire dwarves (this sentence is now phonetically confusing). Pendulum quality effort at best. Sounds infinitely better than it is. Worst of all was the sound quality. Almost every conversation is muffled to the point where it's virtually impossible to follow the story, but don't you dare try turning the volume up. The screams are so loud, blown-out and ear piercing that it woke my neighbors in the next unit. So not only am I…