My dad used to love to tease me about how, when I was 12, I “forced” him to take me super early to Urban Legends: Final Cut on opening night because I was worried that it would be sold out. It wasn't. There were like 3 other people in the theatre. What can I say? I thought it would be a blockbuster.

Usually I love a campy wild ride, but this film just did NOTHING for me.

This is really a 4-star movie, but I'm giving it an extra star for Paul Newman alone. Sigh.

This is, without a doubt, one of the best AND worst movies I've ever seen. Everything about it was just TOO MUCH.

I want to give it both a 1-star and 5-star rating.

Bless James Franco as Alien. Sprahhhhg Brahhhhk Forevuuuuuh.