When you're an asshole, you lose your girlfriend.
When you lose your girlfriend, you get drunk at Harvard.
When you get drunk at Harvard, you rant on the Internet.
When you rant on the Internet, you make FaceMash.com.
When you make FaceMash.com, you crash the system.
When the system crashes, twins that row crew ask for your help (you hate crew).
When you hate crew, you steal their idea.
When you steal their idea, it becomes big.
When it becomes big, you become more of an asshole.
When you become more of an asshole, you lose your friends.
When you lose your friends, you get sued.
When you get sued, you lose millions of dollars.
When you lose millions of dollars, you try friending that ex-girlfriend on Facebook.

...don't be an asshole.