Favorite films

  • Ghostbusters
  • Singin' in the Rain
  • Jaws
  • The Shining

Recent activity

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  • The Bob's Burgers Movie

  • Jurassic World Dominion

  • Crimes of the Future

  • R.I.P.D.

Recent reviews

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  • The Bob's Burgers Movie

    The Bob's Burgers Movie

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I'm a massive fan of the "Bob's Burgers" show, and the movie adaptation is very successful in that it feels like an episode of the program appropriately stretched over a feature-length runtime. The identity of the killer in the murder mystery subplot isn’t shocking whatsoever, but I didn’t come to the theater for a puzzling whodunnit. I came to see the goofy cartoon family be silly, and that’s what they did!

    I don’t think this beats "The Simpsons Movie" or…

  • Jurassic World Dominion

    Jurassic World Dominion

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    People can say whatever they want about me, but I liked this and had a very good time with it! I have a begrudging fondness for even the worst sequels in this franchise, even though none have remotely reached the heights of the first movie. Each "Jurassic" sequel is objectively bad in its own way, and I have fun with each and every one of them. Sue me!

    What did you love about "Jurassic Park" as a kid? The locusts?…

Popular reviews

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  • A Madea Christmas

    A Madea Christmas

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Madea walks into a KKK meeting and then twanging banjo music plays while she sprints away from the scene. Madea ties a little girl to a crucifix using Christmas lights. Larry the Cable Guy pats his stomach and then says, “This ain’t fat. This is all foreskin.” 


    Merry Christmas, everyone?

  • Toy Story 4

    Toy Story 4

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Wow. This turned out so much better than I was expecting... the premise felt a little bit like a direct-to-DVD short. The end product, however, is actually super introspective and melancholic. It sets up the aforementioned direct-to-video premise and then sneakily becomes a tale of multiple existential crises.

    I'm more than biased, of course. Toy Story was MASSIVE in my house when I was a kid. I grew up with these films. I had a cowboy hat and pretended to…